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Hello, I'm Dev.
theres no need for
long introductions anymore.

This a fairly personal/general blog.
I live in the UK.
I may have moved around a lot,
but this is home now.

I understand more & hate less.
Because I found a फूल
that's worth looking after.

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There is a fine line between the crease separating the bowler & the batsman, a full toss & a yorker and between cricket & love.

It is always a marginal fine line between knowing when to hold on & knowing when to let go.

It seems inevitably, whatever decision is made between the two at the crux, it is made with the best of intentions and for the greater good.

However, almost in cruel fashion as it is often so with the heart, it always leaves enough room for regret.

8 Jan — 5 notes
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Paper Mâché may smell like glue and harden like it, but it is still paper, and what used to be bark, sap and leaves.

                               rain

               rain

people say it is soothing

that it is,

                                            cleansing,

and it purges



but rain

doesn’t always wash everything away,

                                                                      sometimes

rain just douses you.



and no cloud

                                            could hold

all that precipitation

requisite to

purify you back to

                                            snow,

     or snow



and sometimes,

it weakens something so much,

drenched so thoroughly

                                                            to it’s core                                                                    

it becomes

so heavy,

                                  that it starts falling

collapsing apart,

because

                                      with no strength left

it cannot hold itself 

together

                                                   anymore.

(Source: devalexwg, via chevalierderoses-deactivated201)

28 Oct — 6 notes
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Page 47, line break 12.
  • Felicia : Are you hungry Dimitri?
  • Dimitri : Yes, a rather caving feeling of emptiness seeking equilibrium with the plenty, rather hungry indeed.
  • Felicia : Well, should I fetch the tea and cake?
  • Dimitri : No Felicia, it's quite alright. It is not the hunger of the stomach or of the mouth. Somewhere further inside and for something unknown and ephemeral.
  • Felicia : Would you like to hunt? It is still light outside but dusk shall arrive soon.
  • Dimitri : I do not think even blood will sate or pacify this vacuum of want nor fill the chasm it has dug below my surfaces.
  • Felicia : Don't be a dramatic old man Dimitri, you have forever to find it.
28 Oct
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People are good at doing what they need to in order to make the final cut, if you needed to hibernate, you’d become a black bear.

How well does anybody know anybody else?

Perhaps to their core, sufficiently to their sweeping compassed being. Maybe only the bristling scrape of their shallowest puddles & surfaces.

I suppose the question

it can be rewritten

How well can everybody hide themselves?

16 Oct — 8 notes
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If you sent 400 letters in bottles across the 7 oceans, you’d probably feel better even if 1 returned lodged on the pebbles by the cove with 5 words and a thank you.

Difficulty maintaining connections is something you may face. It isn’t a circumstance of your dislike and it certainly does not signify or represent your lack of value of your friends and said persons.

Rather you find it a result of finding yourself mitigated and dulled by your craving and want for routine and personal space to breathe. It is neither wrong nor spiteful to feel so, however it is wrong to not empathise and see perspective of those you care about. It is a two way track that requires both parties to communicate and try to understand.

Do not become accustomed to self-centring your existence. Life is fuller and much more gratifying when shared. Love yourself and those around you and those stitches and wracks of perceived loneliness will all but disappear.

Nobody likes to be alone, if only for a minute measure of stability then with convicting assurance, definitely not forever. Open up and everything will open for you.

4 Oct — 9 notes
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Where there is change, there will be possibilities and a chance for crossing roads even when traffic lights are red.

Who you were three years ago is not who you are now.

The same person, same being, yet entirely different. Values shift, perspectives differ and feelings waver. Your outlook may peer into the same future as you did back then, but the glasses you saw them through is probably now a different shade.

Perhaps a different hue altogether. 

Change is inevitable, big or small. It can be subtle or momentum reversing, but it converges your existence into a singularity. If you believe in such things as fate or destiny, then change is the turning points that direct your path along the famished road. 

Embrace the person you were yesterday and learn to love who you became today because of it. Embrace the change that may come with trepidation, for it will shape who you become tomorrow. 

Do not let it consume your character. Or let it define you, for only you have the final verdict in defining yourself. Not the pre-actions of things outside your control.

You will always be you, a very beautiful human you.

29 Sep — 8 notes
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Little things, churches and promises.

I’ve been on cloud nine since yesterday, seeing Hannah, I just… she really is just too wonderful and I miss her a lot when she’s away, but it all so worth it.

I always try refrain from being so up front and boastful, brandishing the things about us on show because I don’t ever want to be that guy. When i (only last year) was so vehemently berating and denouncing couples for lauding relationships as exhibitions.

This isn’t that at all.

I never thought I’d be one to sit here and indulge in the warmth & happiness she showers me with and then express it so openly, but it really does make me want to and i just want a little personal little moment to try record anecdotes reflecting it all. Something to hopefully echo the feelings and true contentedness in maybe not succinct but at least with an effort of concision and pithy (although it’s very difficult to get it all down).

Sometimes, I do not fathom how I’ve ended up with such a lovely and thoughtful girlfriend, or what i may have done to deserve her. But i assure and prompt myself to always strive to do things day to day, that let me deserve her. The road looks long ahead of us, but I find myself looking forward to it more every passing day.

I like to keep what we have mostly private. But once in a while, I want to log turning points when realisation staggers onto me, when the meaning and matter of her in my life and her unintentional, subtle and worthier effects on me finds clarity in my mind at night.

I just want to remember them all. The little things, churches and promises until one day it will perhaps come full circle and i can look back fondly and maybe show and share it with her too.

29 Sep — 7 notes
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57.

i) The weight of guilt and shame.

It is such that it would give your frame

to involuntary subjugation 



ii) Sinewy flesh and brittle bones

cannot withstand the burdensome load nor the culpability.

For it is only you who must carry it. 

 

iii) For without the strength of spoken truth

without qualm or uncertaintity

it is you. Alone, who deserve to bear it

24 Sep — 2 notes
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56.

devalexwg:

cannot sleep? or will not sleep?

it is neither choice of one or to force the other


another night, awake twilight

the view of all sky's colours 


and when that morning rays doth bathe the dawn

it is only you who will suffer

23 Sep — 11 notes
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I think there comes a point in everybody’s young adult life where you realise you aren’t as misguided, broken and unredeemable as you once thought.

That you too have every right to happiness as those around you and you realise you do deserve every graced second of it. You start to accept yourself and love your flaws.

You just hadn’t noticed it was always there and that perhaps you had just been looking for it in the wrong place and in the wrong way. 

Then you can look back and smile because that’s growing up too. 

14 Sep — 35 notes
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Chesnuts don’t fall and break just to give you conkers, it’s to give you trees and roasted sweets snacks on cold winter mornings.

Sometimes in life things come wrapped in hurt, blessings don’t always come in the form of softened velvet gift wrapped presents. Like the seed of a chestnut, sometimes it appears to fall down on you coated in its spiny thorny shell, prickly and sharp ready to cut and hurt you.

But the most fulfilling and greatest blessings are not easy to pick up and take, underneath the often painful barbed exterior is the potential, the possibility to grow into a magnificent tree, inside each singular chestnut. 

With warmth, water, light and care one seed is all it takes.

Perhaps it is the balanced nature of pain and love that allows the hurt to teach you true understanding and appreciation of what it is that you hold in your hand.

14 Sep — 9 notes
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When watching a terrible comedy show you scoff at a joke, but remember it 17 days later and chortle as you finally get it.

Look around you, be aware, of the nuances you cause,

the reactions

to your actions.

Emotional vigilance. Keen sense of the effects of your reactionary cause.

It’s important to prioritise the things that really matter, to understand the weight of your everyday actions, the impact of everything. I think those who have become too used to being themselves and a resolute individual, they tend to forget to realise that the world isn’t just them.

The world is the people around you, those you share your life with throughout whatever means, you effect that disregarding if you want to or not. Coming to terms with that will shape every definable action you will ever take.

Learning the lesson or rather understanding this fact is heavy but it is inevitably vital to learn.

31 Aug — 3 notes
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